Today's Jesus is "touchless":

I got my car washed on the way home today. I went to the same car wash I always use. I've always known they were a little nutty. And soooo Southern. And very Republican. Fox News is always the channel of choice on the t.v. in the waiting room, and they have a huge poster with the Ten Commandments hanging behind the counter. They also have the contract for the county, including the police department, so there are always a few deputies and detectives swaggering about.

But today, I noticed things with new eyes. My blog eyes. My new to seminary, incredibly hostile toward outward (and offensive) displays of religion eyes. There were three copies of the Holy Bible; none were a version now accepted by even the most conservative theologian or biblical scholar. A book by Billy Graham; forgive me, but I cannot remember the droll, insipid title of the tome. Alongside those were several other religious/spiritual self-help books, a Nora Roberts, and a Danielle Steele. Ugh. I think it's time to find a new car wash. I really don't feel like giving them any more of my money. Who the Hell knows what kind of hate-filled, and-you-call-yourself-a-Christian cause it will be supporting. But not until I qualify for my next free wash. THEN, I'm outta there! Yes, I can be a hypocrite, too!