Another one courtesy of my mother:
"God says, 'get an Afterlife.'"
Footnote:
This could be a really fun multi-state collection, but that would mean enabling the e-mail feature on this blog, and frankly I just don't want to hear from all the whack jobs out there who will feel compelled to inform me I'm going to Hell. This is my refuge. This is where I get to express my opinions without having to endure the inane rhetoric of the "overly-religious." Not fair, I know. But to quote the mother of a childhood friend: "Fair is a four letter word found only in the dictionary. It does not apply to life." I didn't like that statement when I was a kid. I love it now.
So there.