Pointed Rant

Today's target is the History Channel. Is anyone else watching that awful new series "The Nostradamus Effect"? I've found it interesting, in that it is basically cotton candy for this historian's brain. I like Nostradamus and his work...as part literary genre part train wreck (as in no matter how horrible I know it's going to be I just can't tear myself away from the spectacle) but I do not believe in any prophetic mumbo jumbo, especially not some glorified court wizard with political ambitions. I do like it as poetry, though. And I love watching the brainless spazoids piss themselves over the coming apocalypse.

Last week's episode of this show takes the prize for irresponsible documentary journalism of the month. The topic of the show was "The Seven Seals" as in the seven seals that were broken by Jesus in the Book of Revelation that set in motion the End Times. NOT ONE "EXPERT" ON THE SHOW WAS A LEGITIMATE, REPUTABLE BIBLICAL SCHOLAR. Not one. Not even close. And if you're going to discuss a book of the Bible that is arguably the book that carries the most emotional baggage, is rife with literary devices and symbology understood in a time long past whose meaning is lost on most today, then you really need at least one person qualified to discuss this as the example of apocalyptic literary genre it actually is. But, no. No experts here. Instead, they assembled the usual suspects: religious radio talk show hosts, Evangelical ministers, pseudo-philosophers, authors of questionable "scholarly" works, and MICHAEL BAIGENT. You know... Michael "Holy Blood, Holy Grail" Baigent. Ugh.

One asshole actually had the audacity to state "most biblical scholars believe the events recounted in the Book of Revelation are imminent." Um....no. Bible THUMPERS believe it. But most BIBLICAL SCHOLARS don't believe that any passage of the Bible represents the literal truth (unless it's a historical account for which we have archaeological evidence), or that any prophetic pronouncements will come true, ever have come true, or that the author meant for anyone to believe they would come true. Biblical prophecies are socio-political commentaries critical of the current state of the world. In the Hebrew Bible the targets were Babylon and the corrupt, blaspheming Israelite kings. In the New Testament, the target was the Roman Empire. Please, people. The "Beast" in Revelation is Nero. O.K.? Not some supernatural spawn of Satan who will rise up and dupe the masses into assembling a 200 million-strong Army of Evil. Please stop setting up your lawn chairs at Tel Meggido in anticipation of the Final Battle.

But, just in case, let's all stay tuned for 12/21/12. You never know...the impossible could happen. I might be proven wrong.