Graffiti for God:
On one of the flip-up desktops in the main lecture hall the black Formica has peeled away to reveal about a six inch triangle of the MDF beneath. Many students have taken this opportunity to doodle. Desktop graffiti was not something I expected to encounter at seminary. Detention Hall, perhaps. But not seminary! Still...the graffiti is distinctly seminarian. There are five crosses of varying shapes and sizes, including the three crosses at Calvary, and the phrase: "J of Naz wuz hur." Yeeeeaaaah...welcome to seminary.
24.10.07
Today was day #2 of the long-anticipated, and dreaded, discussion on the ethics of abortion. Today was worse than Friday, day #1 of the discussion. Last Friday morning I awoke to the following horoscope: "A deep and meaningful conversation will radically change the way you feel today." No kidding. That really was my horoscope. Not a snowball's chance in Hell of that ever applying to our discussion on abortion, but it was still a hilarious cosmic "fuck you."
Friday's discussion was civil, mannered, and well...lukewarm and fairly namby-pamby, actually. I think there was a lot of feeling each other out going on in the room. Several people, including myself, came right out and stated their position on the issue. And I lived to tell the tale. Today we were back in our larger group. Oh yeah, forgot to mention. On Fridays now we are in smaller "break-out" groups for a more intimate and productive discussion. Which means I cannot hide, even during the moments I most wish I could.
So anyway, back to today. We resumed our regular large classroom where the professor lectured on "Christianity and the Morality of Abortion" giving points from both the Pro-Choice and Pro-Life cases. Some students were struggling with the logic of the arguments from both sides. Some of them really really need to get out of their heads once in a while. I'm not saying this should be a debate guided solely by emotion (absolutely not!), but many of the students in the class simply could not get past the systematic arguments, the structure of ethics, involved in this issue. They are the ones who need desperately to let go of their academic training just a tad and accept that some things, no matter how hard people try to make them so, are not and cannot be guided by method. One innocent little, theoretical, methodological, non-emotional question from one student seemed to open up the floodgates and all sorts of people, as if on cue, whipped out their soapboxes and hopped up.
It is at this point in our story that I must introduce two more characters. And I do mean characters. I have no idea what their names are, and have no desire to learn them or become any better acquainted with them. But I call them the Godly Twins. Apologies to Edward Stratemeyer, beloved creator of the Bobbsey Twins (and the Hardy Boys, and Nancy Drew...), but I really don't know what else to call them. The name makes me giggle and smirk in a very naughty way. I take sheer delight in it. They are the very caricatures of the upright, self-righteous, socially conservative, astonishingly naive, prudish and priggish American youth that populate the youth groups and purity pacts of many wealthy, suburban, lily-white, Protestant churches.
He is tall, blond-haired, blue-eyed; and handsome in that white bread all-American, boy next door sort of way. She is just as cute as a button! Short, slim, with shoulder-length blond hair, blue eyes, freckles! Oh! She's just adorable! The kind you take home to Mom! (can you hear me gagging?) They are always together, and I suspect it is her most ardent desire that they stay together forever. Forever! Oh, to be a minister's wife; and the wife of this particular minister! His idea, on the other hand....well, she's a friend. A good friend. But just a friend.
Anyway, enough obsessing over their personal lives. Time to move on to what affects me directly. They usually sit in front of me. I mean directly in front of me, so that I have to move a few seats over in order to still be able to see the PowerPoint screen. I think they are just oblivious, and not malicious or bratty. Just self-absorbed in their own piety. Which has the potential to carry a corresponding unintended maliciousness, in a way...but I digress. Me, on the other hand, well...I can barely disguise my contempt for them. Today they decided to sit next to me. Apparently, I miscounted and sat one row further forward than I usually do.
So, here we are in the middle of our discussion on the morality of abortion. I know precisely what their views are on the subject. They wear them every day. There seems to be no end to their supply of incredibly vapid t-shirts with (NON)pithy pronouncements of faith and political and moral proclivities. We come to the part of the Pro-Life debate that focuses on personal responsibilities and obligations to the fetus that was created through a voluntary act by two people wholly aware of the consequences of their actions. I could feel her getting all worked up. And then...it happened. She dropped the A-bomb. Abstinence. "Well, that's why we should be promoting abstinence in the schools and churches." To the credit of everyone else, the whole room seemed to lurch forward with the attempts to restrain gasps of shock, bile, and laughter. The professor's eyes seemed suddenly too large for his face, and Jane Godly's creamy white complexion turned three shades of purple. Even Jon Godly looked slightly appalled. She turned to look at me. I like to think she was compelled to do so by the heat of my gaze. I was trying to convey, "please remove your head from your ass so we may all welcome you to Reality." I hope I was successful. I hope our collective efforts were enough to shut her up for at least a week. That's all we need to get us through to the ethics of the just war, and out of this minefield that is the ethics of abortion.
Footnotes
I did it again. I visited Comcast Forum. But I was intrigued by the subject line: "I quit! I don't want to be a mom anymore!" Not the sort of thing one is used to seeing on this particular forum. It was posted by the poor, put-upon mother of a fourteen year old "demon child" who is quickly approaching the end of her rope with this lying, sneaking-around, disrespectful, little brat. She writes: "I thought up a new bumper sticker: ABORTION: Kill 'em while it's legal!" I love it. At least she still has her sense of humor. Sanity waved bye-bye to her long ago. Fourteen years ago, I'm guessing...
Friday's discussion was civil, mannered, and well...lukewarm and fairly namby-pamby, actually. I think there was a lot of feeling each other out going on in the room. Several people, including myself, came right out and stated their position on the issue. And I lived to tell the tale. Today we were back in our larger group. Oh yeah, forgot to mention. On Fridays now we are in smaller "break-out" groups for a more intimate and productive discussion. Which means I cannot hide, even during the moments I most wish I could.
So anyway, back to today. We resumed our regular large classroom where the professor lectured on "Christianity and the Morality of Abortion" giving points from both the Pro-Choice and Pro-Life cases. Some students were struggling with the logic of the arguments from both sides. Some of them really really need to get out of their heads once in a while. I'm not saying this should be a debate guided solely by emotion (absolutely not!), but many of the students in the class simply could not get past the systematic arguments, the structure of ethics, involved in this issue. They are the ones who need desperately to let go of their academic training just a tad and accept that some things, no matter how hard people try to make them so, are not and cannot be guided by method. One innocent little, theoretical, methodological, non-emotional question from one student seemed to open up the floodgates and all sorts of people, as if on cue, whipped out their soapboxes and hopped up.
It is at this point in our story that I must introduce two more characters. And I do mean characters. I have no idea what their names are, and have no desire to learn them or become any better acquainted with them. But I call them the Godly Twins. Apologies to Edward Stratemeyer, beloved creator of the Bobbsey Twins (and the Hardy Boys, and Nancy Drew...), but I really don't know what else to call them. The name makes me giggle and smirk in a very naughty way. I take sheer delight in it. They are the very caricatures of the upright, self-righteous, socially conservative, astonishingly naive, prudish and priggish American youth that populate the youth groups and purity pacts of many wealthy, suburban, lily-white, Protestant churches.
He is tall, blond-haired, blue-eyed; and handsome in that white bread all-American, boy next door sort of way. She is just as cute as a button! Short, slim, with shoulder-length blond hair, blue eyes, freckles! Oh! She's just adorable! The kind you take home to Mom! (can you hear me gagging?) They are always together, and I suspect it is her most ardent desire that they stay together forever. Forever! Oh, to be a minister's wife; and the wife of this particular minister! His idea, on the other hand....well, she's a friend. A good friend. But just a friend.
Anyway, enough obsessing over their personal lives. Time to move on to what affects me directly. They usually sit in front of me. I mean directly in front of me, so that I have to move a few seats over in order to still be able to see the PowerPoint screen. I think they are just oblivious, and not malicious or bratty. Just self-absorbed in their own piety. Which has the potential to carry a corresponding unintended maliciousness, in a way...but I digress. Me, on the other hand, well...I can barely disguise my contempt for them. Today they decided to sit next to me. Apparently, I miscounted and sat one row further forward than I usually do.
So, here we are in the middle of our discussion on the morality of abortion. I know precisely what their views are on the subject. They wear them every day. There seems to be no end to their supply of incredibly vapid t-shirts with (NON)pithy pronouncements of faith and political and moral proclivities. We come to the part of the Pro-Life debate that focuses on personal responsibilities and obligations to the fetus that was created through a voluntary act by two people wholly aware of the consequences of their actions. I could feel her getting all worked up. And then...it happened. She dropped the A-bomb. Abstinence. "Well, that's why we should be promoting abstinence in the schools and churches." To the credit of everyone else, the whole room seemed to lurch forward with the attempts to restrain gasps of shock, bile, and laughter. The professor's eyes seemed suddenly too large for his face, and Jane Godly's creamy white complexion turned three shades of purple. Even Jon Godly looked slightly appalled. She turned to look at me. I like to think she was compelled to do so by the heat of my gaze. I was trying to convey, "please remove your head from your ass so we may all welcome you to Reality." I hope I was successful. I hope our collective efforts were enough to shut her up for at least a week. That's all we need to get us through to the ethics of the just war, and out of this minefield that is the ethics of abortion.
Footnotes
I did it again. I visited Comcast Forum. But I was intrigued by the subject line: "I quit! I don't want to be a mom anymore!" Not the sort of thing one is used to seeing on this particular forum. It was posted by the poor, put-upon mother of a fourteen year old "demon child" who is quickly approaching the end of her rope with this lying, sneaking-around, disrespectful, little brat. She writes: "I thought up a new bumper sticker: ABORTION: Kill 'em while it's legal!" I love it. At least she still has her sense of humor. Sanity waved bye-bye to her long ago. Fourteen years ago, I'm guessing...
11.10.07
Random Musing
Reading back over my posts I noticed a potentially annoying habit of mine. One for which I will not apologize, but merely paraphrase Louisa May Alcott: "She is overly fond of ellipses and colons, and it has addled her brain." I imagine I'll continue to overuse them. I like them as both literary devices and grammar assistants. And I don't think they get enough love or understanding. So: there...
No news is good news:
I realize it has been over a week since I last posted, and I have been feeling a little guilty about that. Think of it as filial piety. I feel a certain obligation to my (three) regular readers. But honestly, there hasn't been much to report. And in the grand theme of this blog, that may be a good thing...
There has been a certain amount of settling in that has been happening over the past few days. The rhythm of seminary life is taking hold: classes, dining hall, choir practice, service of word and table, meeting friends on the steps of the chapel to discuss, gripe, gossip, and joke about anything and everything.
I've also been quite busy. I regularly have over 100 pages to read a night, and a paper a week. That's a comparatively light course load, but things are starting to pick up. Midterms are right around the corner.
On top of this is the transition in the seasons, and soon the turning back of clocks. I always grow more introspective during this time. Autumn is my favorite season for many reasons, but it also seems to bring out the melancholy in me. Much has been on my mind of late, and none of it bears repeating. Or recording. Hence my electronic silence. Sorry if it sounds cryptic, but perhaps some day soon there will be a deluge of verbiage the likes of which Blogspot has never before witnessed! I hope their server can handle it. Wouldn't want to crash the whole system. Then those bloggers would REALLY have something to bitch about.
As always, my faithful readers, stay tuned...
I realize it has been over a week since I last posted, and I have been feeling a little guilty about that. Think of it as filial piety. I feel a certain obligation to my (three) regular readers. But honestly, there hasn't been much to report. And in the grand theme of this blog, that may be a good thing...
There has been a certain amount of settling in that has been happening over the past few days. The rhythm of seminary life is taking hold: classes, dining hall, choir practice, service of word and table, meeting friends on the steps of the chapel to discuss, gripe, gossip, and joke about anything and everything.
I've also been quite busy. I regularly have over 100 pages to read a night, and a paper a week. That's a comparatively light course load, but things are starting to pick up. Midterms are right around the corner.
On top of this is the transition in the seasons, and soon the turning back of clocks. I always grow more introspective during this time. Autumn is my favorite season for many reasons, but it also seems to bring out the melancholy in me. Much has been on my mind of late, and none of it bears repeating. Or recording. Hence my electronic silence. Sorry if it sounds cryptic, but perhaps some day soon there will be a deluge of verbiage the likes of which Blogspot has never before witnessed! I hope their server can handle it. Wouldn't want to crash the whole system. Then those bloggers would REALLY have something to bitch about.
As always, my faithful readers, stay tuned...
1.10.07
Random Musing
"Here's Your Sign":
On my way home today I passed a car with a home made poster board sign duct-taped to the rear bumper: "Whats (sic) the difference between the ACLU and a terrorist". I don't know, genius, what is the difference?? (I'll use two question marks since you seem to be missing one.) It's your sign, you tell me.
On my way home today I passed a car with a home made poster board sign duct-taped to the rear bumper: "Whats (sic) the difference between the ACLU and a terrorist". I don't know, genius, what is the difference?? (I'll use two question marks since you seem to be missing one.) It's your sign, you tell me.
A Moment of Grace in the Midst of Chaos:
I have two classes that I consider my refuge from the Strange Land that is seminary: MTS Colloquy, and a seminar on Augustine, Descartes, Kant, and Wittgenstein. Today I had my philosophy smorgasbord class. We are discussing Augustine's The Trinity.
Augustine's Christianity is rooted in experiential faith. That is, it is not assent to a doctrine, but more active and contemplative (and these two are not mutually exclusive); faith is understood through the way we think and live in the world. It is an attending to that which is eternal; it is a disposition of the mind. Coming into faith is the transformation of the mind.
Therefore, sin is a necessary state (deprivation) of being. It is the inability to see clearly, and as Freud will later argue, self-deception is essential to our ability to function in this world. There must be a gradual awakening in order to fully recognize, understand, and value the experience. Augustine believes we have this possibility for transformation built in at the beginning of our lives. We are born with faith. It is God's gift of Grace to us, and is ours by virtue of our humanity. But if we were born fully aware of this faith, what would be the purpose of life? Where would we go from there? And, would that faith be truly meaningful without the struggle to understand and attain it?
Coming into faith is a realignment of the way you view the world, others, and your place in it. It is an attending to the world; how we approach it, that matters. Desire can either be governed by worldly or eternal things. Worldly things keep us in sin and alienated from God's grace. They are often selfish, shallow, and gluttonous motives. When we see people or things, or even the attainment of knowledge, as the means to an end, sin (and evil) prevails. Coming into faith is an enlightenment of the mind and a maturation of the soul.
So, what of higher education? The argument could be made that college and especially grad school is evil, because the knowledge we attain there is the means to an end: a career. If we attend to it without love, without good, then it is knowledge for the sake of knowledge. It is empty, shallow, and self-serving.
Here our professor showed a sentimental, romantic side I was surprised to see in him. He acknowledged that much if not most of what we learn, the hard facts and broad theories, will be lost to us over time, perhaps even before we remove our caps and gowns. It is not his hope that we leave here with heads full of information. He does wish for us the burgeoning of a life-long love of learning; that we find a few thinkers/writers who resonate with us and inspire us to continue reading, learning, thinking, sharing, and inspiring our own students or congregants well into the future. Whether it be wisdom or faith, attend to it with love and a respectful desire, and you will experience a fullness and blessedness in your life...Welcome (no, really...welcome) to Seminary.
Footnotes
"Knowledge is important. But much more so is the use toward which it is put. This depends on the heart and mind of the one who uses it."
I have two classes that I consider my refuge from the Strange Land that is seminary: MTS Colloquy, and a seminar on Augustine, Descartes, Kant, and Wittgenstein. Today I had my philosophy smorgasbord class. We are discussing Augustine's The Trinity.
Augustine's Christianity is rooted in experiential faith. That is, it is not assent to a doctrine, but more active and contemplative (and these two are not mutually exclusive); faith is understood through the way we think and live in the world. It is an attending to that which is eternal; it is a disposition of the mind. Coming into faith is the transformation of the mind.
Therefore, sin is a necessary state (deprivation) of being. It is the inability to see clearly, and as Freud will later argue, self-deception is essential to our ability to function in this world. There must be a gradual awakening in order to fully recognize, understand, and value the experience. Augustine believes we have this possibility for transformation built in at the beginning of our lives. We are born with faith. It is God's gift of Grace to us, and is ours by virtue of our humanity. But if we were born fully aware of this faith, what would be the purpose of life? Where would we go from there? And, would that faith be truly meaningful without the struggle to understand and attain it?
Coming into faith is a realignment of the way you view the world, others, and your place in it. It is an attending to the world; how we approach it, that matters. Desire can either be governed by worldly or eternal things. Worldly things keep us in sin and alienated from God's grace. They are often selfish, shallow, and gluttonous motives. When we see people or things, or even the attainment of knowledge, as the means to an end, sin (and evil) prevails. Coming into faith is an enlightenment of the mind and a maturation of the soul.
So, what of higher education? The argument could be made that college and especially grad school is evil, because the knowledge we attain there is the means to an end: a career. If we attend to it without love, without good, then it is knowledge for the sake of knowledge. It is empty, shallow, and self-serving.
Here our professor showed a sentimental, romantic side I was surprised to see in him. He acknowledged that much if not most of what we learn, the hard facts and broad theories, will be lost to us over time, perhaps even before we remove our caps and gowns. It is not his hope that we leave here with heads full of information. He does wish for us the burgeoning of a life-long love of learning; that we find a few thinkers/writers who resonate with us and inspire us to continue reading, learning, thinking, sharing, and inspiring our own students or congregants well into the future. Whether it be wisdom or faith, attend to it with love and a respectful desire, and you will experience a fullness and blessedness in your life...Welcome (no, really...welcome) to Seminary.
Footnotes
"Knowledge is important. But much more so is the use toward which it is put. This depends on the heart and mind of the one who uses it."
-- His Holiness the Dalai Lama
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